


it feels like there's oceans (between you & me)

by more1weasley



Series: The Stuff of Legends: unrelated short stories [3]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Dimension-Hopping Rose Tyler, F/M, Time Petals Week, Time Petals Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25415671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/more1weasley/pseuds/more1weasley
Summary: The dimension cannon had finally landed Rose near the TARDIS... but unfortunately not the right one.-ForTime Petals Week 2020Day Two, prompt: “Why do you keep leaving me behind?”
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/Rose Tyler, The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Rose Tyler
Series: The Stuff of Legends: unrelated short stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1786555
Comments: 12
Kudos: 90





	it feels like there's oceans (between you & me)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much [amandaithink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amandaithink/pseuds/amandaithink) for betaing this and helping with the summary! You're an angel, and any mistakes are my own :)  
> -  
> You can find my contribution for Day One of Time Petals Week, with the prompt _dancing_ [ here](https://hey-there-juliet.tumblr.com/post/624117604555079680/for-day-one-of-time-petals-week-dancing-well).
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

“You left me behind, didn’t you?” she asks, resigned, and the Doctor stops in his tracks.

Rose angrily wipes away the lone tear that managed to escape down her cheek. 

He had barely been able to look at her when she found him. Well, he had barely been able to look at her _after_ staring at her in shock for quite a few minutes when she found him. She didn’t need him to tell her that she had the wrong him, a far-into-the-future him. After a year and half of travelling through dimensions, she had learned a lot.

It was in the little things: the colour of the TARDIS – more blue than Rose had ever seen her, but just as beautiful – the way he wouldn’t meet her eyes, the way his new companion had looked at her with a frown, as if she had never heard of her. And honestly, Rose should’ve known better than to approach him before being sure that it was the right him. But it had been so long, three years since that cursed beach and an unfinished sentence. 

She had heard the TARDIS materializing, that wonderful sound, and she ran. It was easy to spot the box even from afar, the most fantastic blue box in the universes; never mind that the alien planet she was currently in didn’t seem to have many things in blue – as she noticed when she first arrived, the awed looks on the native’s faces when they saw her TARDIS-blue leather jacket. Rose had pumped her legs harder, and through the wandering people, she saw the door open.

The people who stepped out, a man and a woman, made her stop short. She could only see them from the side, but she knew she had never seen them before – well, if the man was who she thought he was, she had never seen him with _this face_ before. Her breath left her in a rush, and Rose was suddenly winded. 

_He’d regenerated_. 

Well, of course he had, who’s to know how long it had been for him? And he joked about her, but really, he was the jeopardy friendly one. Deep down, she knew he was still the same man, would always be the same man, but… She would never see his warm brown eyes again, that smile that boarded on manic, the freckles on his nose, the striped suit, that great ( _really_ great) hair. Just as she would never see those blue eyes, those big ears and that leather jacket again. 

Rose sighed and closed her eyes.

She gave herself a second to grieve, but just one second, and then opened them again, taking in this new him. His hair was still brown – not ginger, that must have stung – and he still looked younger than the first him she knew. The purple old-fashioned coat, the ankle-high boots and the too-short trousers kind of gave him away as _not-human._

 _Oh, what if he was a_ past _him?_

Rose hesitated. What if she called to him, and he had no idea who she was? The thought hurt more than she cared to admit, so she pushed it aside. It would be fine, if it was a past him, he could just make himself forget. He had told her about it, after she tried to save her father; he’d told her about his time senses, and how he would sometimes meet himself and prevent a paradox by locking away his own memory. Of course, he had neglected to tell her that those times he saw himself, each him probably had a different face from the others, but still. Besides, the whole of creation was at stake. She couldn’t take the risk of letting the right him go.

Taking a deep breath, she turned her attention to the pair, only to notice them walking away from the TARDIS, starting to disappear in the crowd. 

Rose ran.

“Doctor! Doctor!”

She saw him freeze, spine going rigid. His companion, the petite brunette, spun towards her call, looking around a bit before her eyes set on her. Rose slowed down as she got closer, and he still hadn’t turned. 

Just a couple of feet away from him, she stopped. He knew her, of that, she was certain. His curious nature wouldn’t have allowed him to stay still when a stranger called out to him, meaning it hurt all the more when he did.

“Uhh, Doctor?” the companion asked, frowning as she alternated her gaze from him to her, and again. Rose spared her a small smile before focusing back on the Time Lord.

Finally, what felt like centuries later, he spun on his heel and stared. Just stared. His eyes were green this time, she noticed. And he looked even younger than before, even if the old-fashioned outfit was supposed to make him look more respectable. His hair flopped down in front of his eyes – eyes that were taking in her jacket, and her hair, then the dimension cannon around her neck, – and as his face fell, barely noticeable, she knew: even if he _was_ from the future, she had the wrong him. 

That was when the avoiding started. He didn’t look her in the eyes, even as she offered him a tentative smile, his gaze was focused just a bit to the left, and Rose couldn’t help feeling like she had just been punched in the stomach. 

Swallowing hard, she said, “Hello.”

He was already shaking his head before the word was even completely out of her mouth. “No, no, no, no. This is bad, very, very bad! Super bad,” he said, hands moving from here to there in the blink of an eye.

Rose tried not to let the hurt show, putting on the indifferent mask she had gotten used to wearing after three years of working for Torchwood. Before she could figure out what to say, the petite brunette spoke.

“Hi, I’m Clara,” she introduced herself, giving Rose a little wave and a hesitant smile. “How do you know the Doctor?”

“I’m Rose,” she said, and it was a struggle to not let her voice break, but she did it. She hadn’t taken her eyes off him, and he still wasn’t looking at her. “And it doesn’t matter. I’m guessing from your reaction that I’m too late?”

Finally, he looked at her. Well, at her feet, but she’d count that as a victory. He shrugged, “Yeah, just a bit.”

She took in his slightly hunched form, the way he kept rocking on the balls of his feet and how his hands clenched and unclenched in front of him. When he wore leather, he crossed his arms. When he wore pinstripes, he shoved his hands in his pockets. Now, he fiddled with his fingers. He was the same man and, different as they might be, she was glad to know she could still identify his ‘about to run’ habits. 

“How long has it been?” she asked, even though she already knew what he was going to say.

He must have heard it in her voice, because he let out a little huff, his lips curving up the slightest bit.

“You know I can’t tell you that.”

“Alright. How old are you now then?”

He raised his eyes to her, green meeting hazel and she felt like singing ‘hallelujah.’

“You know I can’t tell you that either,” he said, voice low, so different and yet somehow so similar to the ones she knew before. 

Rose nodded, just a bit; she didn’t want to make a sudden move and spook him now that he finally was looking at her. She let her eyes go over him again, and couldn’t fight the smile when she noticed one very important item of his outfit.

“I told you, didn’t I?” She motioned towards his neck. “Bow ties are _cool_ ,” she dragged out the ‘ool,’ shooting him a tongue touched grin.

The last time she said that, the first time, he had been fiddling with the bow tie for his ‘tuxedo of doom’ outfit when she came to the rescue. As usual, he was whining about it, and when she told him her thoughts on bow ties, he had scowled, before sniffing haughtily. 

This time, his whole expression changed. He full out beamed at her, eyes crinkling on the corners while he gave a tiny jump on his heels and turned to his companion with an obvious ‘I told you so’ look. Clara rolled her eyes.

Once he swirled back towards her, reality seemed to set in, and the light dimmed from his eyes. Clearing his throat, the Doctor went back to staring a bit over her shoulder.

“Anyways! Wrong me, late you, dimensions to save. You should… go.”

Rose swallowed down the knot lodged in her throat, blinked away the tears that stung her eyes, and avoided Clara’s worried gaze just as fiercely as the Doctor avoided hers. 

“Yeah,” she said, and had to clear her throat before being able to continue, “yeah, just one more question.”

The Doctor literally backed away from her, mouth already open to protest, but she was faster.

“Were you alone?”

He stopped. Just stopped. Stopped moving, stopped avoiding her eyes, probably stopped breathing. 

“What?” he said, barely audible, but the three of them were close enough for her to hear. She couldn’t believe they were doing this in the middle of the street, but at least the same aliens that gave her awed looks for her blue jacket kept their distance, maybe because of the colour; she didn’t really care why at the moment.

“When you changed,” she nodded towards the new him, her volume matching his. “Were you alone?”

His eyes met hers again, and whether he wanted her to or not, she could see all the pain and loneliness; his face might’ve been younger, but his eyes were so much older than when she met him. 

“Does it matter?” he croaked out. He takes a minute to look at her, taking her in, renewing his memories of her, rebranding her on his soul, and then his walls shoot back up. “Right. We should go, too, Clara! Kesnya! Honestly, what was I thinking? Come on, we should go to Bresnya, Kesnya’s twin planet, much better.” With one hand at a protesting Clara’s back, he led her around Rose and away.

“You left me behind, didn’t you?” she asks, resigned, and the Doctor stops in his tracks. Rose angrily wipes away the lone tear that managed to escape down her cheek. “Why do you keep leaving me behind?” And she can’t keep her voice in check anymore, and so it breaks midway through the sentence.

She turns around just in time to have the Doctor barrel into her, arms going around her and pulling her close. He doesn’t lift her off her feet like she expects, instead, he leans his forehead against hers.

“Because it hurts.” It’s barely a whisper, but she hears him. And it’s not exactly an answer to that specific question, but it still answers so much.

“Does this hurt any less?”

“No.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, it's an open ending, I'm sorry! But think of it like this: what happens next is totally up to you! Let me know what you think happened, lol :)  
> -  
> Thank you for reading; I hope you liked it!!
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated!
> 
> Love, Vi <3


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